matthewhkab
 
One day there was a man called Buck and he was a very brave man. He decided to go to the bank, he took a long walk past the lake, the apartments and the old mine that people around here say is a death trap. Buck was finally at the bank and he went to the counter and said that he would like to pull out 100$.

The accounts said, "Sorry you can't because you have no money in your vault."
"What are you talking about, I've been with this bank for 7 years and there have been no problems," Buck said.

The accounts were scared of what might happen next.
 "OKAY the bank had a attack a very big attack with some ninja worrier!" The counter said
 "What are you talking about the secret service here" Buck said
" Well they got attacked and we cant find them" The counter said
 Suddenly the phone on the desk was ringing. The accounts picked it up first.
"Hello welcome to the Cal Bank how may I help you" The accounts said
 and he also said that it was for Buck it was some guy named Niko.
"Niko" Buck shouted
 "Hi buck niko I have some news yes your whole account is being stolen and i have some evidence from the attack but you have to go home and then we can talk" said Niko
"Okay" Buck said ill go hame right now.
sidhonie
2/21/2010

One day there was a man called Buck and he was a very brave man. He decided to go to the bank, he took a long walk past the lake,the apartments and the old mine people around here say its a death trap. Buck was finally at the bank and he went to his accounts and said that he would like to pull out $100 the accounts said that he cant because you have no money in your vault. What are you talking about iv been with this bank for 7 years and there has been no problems Buck said. the accounts was scared of what might happen next. OKAY the bank had a attack a very big attack with some ninja worrier! What are you talking about you the secret service here. Well they got attacked and we cant find them. Suddenly the phone on the desk was ringing. The accounts picked it up first. Hello welcome to the Cal Bank how may I help you the accounts said and he also said that it was for Buck it was some guy named Niko. Niko buck shouted Hi buck said niko I have some news yes your whole account is being stolen and i have some evidence from the attack but you have to go home and then we can talk said Niko Ok Buck said ill go hame right now.

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Andy
2/22/2010

One day there was a man called Buck and he was a very brave man. He decided to go to the bank, he took a long walk past the lake, the apartments and the old mine that people around here say is a death trap. Buck was finally at the bank and he went to the counter and said that he would like to pull out 100$.

The accounts said, "Sorry you can't because you have no money in your vault."
"What are you talking about, I've been with this bank for 7 years and there have been no problems," Buck said.

Don't forget to put speech marks and each person speaking on a different line.

The accounts were scared of what might happen next. OKAY the bank had a attack a very big attack with some ninja worrier! What are you talking about you the secret service here. Well they got attacked and we cant find them. Suddenly the phone on the desk was ringing. The accounts picked it up first. Hello welcome to the Cal Bank how may I help you the accounts said and he also said that it was for Buck it was some guy named Niko. Niko buck shouted Hi buck said niko I have some news yes your whole account is being stolen and i have some evidence from the attack but you have to go home and then we can talk said Niko Ok Buck said ill go hame right now.

Reply
Thomas S.
3/11/2010

There are some mistakes mostly with grammar and a few spelling mistakes but it is a good piece of work.

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